Of Men and Women

After some recent posts, I don't want to give the impression that I only hang out with men. I enjoy hanging out with both sexes, it's just that the opportunity to hang out with females doesn't happen as often. One thing with me though, I much prefer to hang out with someone 1:1 then in a big group/crowd.

For me, I feel like that's something you do when you are younger, or if you are more social or all in all just have a different personality type to mine.

Today I had the best time hanging out with one of my good girlfriends here, C. In my whole life I've never really had one best (girl) friend and for the moment and during my time here C definitely feels like my best friend. We can talk to each other about anything and we are there for each other. There is no bitchiness or competitiveness or anything nasty (which can often happen between girls). I feel so lucky that I have a good friend like that here!

She seems to be constantly having a lot of guy troubles and we spent most of today talking about guys and relationships!

She's in a relationship with a guy who treats her like crap (he doesn't live in this town...luckily?) and I've advised her time and time again to leave him after everything she's told me about him. She's far too good for him! I can understand that she knows that that's the right thing to do but she can't do it out of fear (of being alone, of not finding anyone else, etc). I know because I've been there.

It's funny how clearly you can see things when you are not IN the situation yourself and that those around you often know what's better for you than you know yourself.

Meanwhile, she's got this other guy who's 'after' her and who is obviously crazy about her. He offers to do everything for her. She says she thinks of him as like a brother though (ouch for him). They get along well and he's nice and all but she says there is zero chemistry.

Then, she also has a second guy who is after her and constantly bombards her with SMS messages, unable to take the hint.

She said something really interesting to me which I found extremely insightful and something I agreed with but she articulated it so well. With the first guy who is after her, he seems to have no friends and not much of a social life so he's looking for someone to 'complete' him and his life. With the second guy, he's got no job at the moment so he's kinda 'bored' and also looking for someone to complete his life.

She said she's someone who enjoys her 'me' time and needs time away from the other person too (ie being with someone who's not too 'needy'). I totally agree with this too. I go crazy if I don't have my 'me' time and at the moment my whole life is my 'me' time.

It's definitely true that the most interesting people are those that have full and interesting lives and aren't looking to someone else to 'complete' them, because for sure you need to be 'complete' yourself before you begin to look for someone else, otherwise you'll only attract someone else who is as 'incomplete' as yourself.

Me on the other hand.. I haven't escaped from all this craziness either. I only realised that after recent events that two guys (one in this town and one not) are interested in me (contrary to what I originally thought). For me that gets weird fast when they have feelings for me and I don't have feelings for them. It's kind of annoying because I don't want to be rude and ignore them but then I don't want to give them the wrong idea either, that their feelings are reciprocated (when they are not).

Then on the other hand, I admit that I have some feelings for a guy I've been talking to online since the beginning of the year and whom I saw whilst I was in Paris (this part won't make much sense till I do my post on my Paris trip) but I have to hide them since he already has a girlfriend and I don't want to jeopardise our friendship. To be honest I'd much rather have a guy as a friend anyway rather than a boyfriend. At least with a friend they'll be your friend forever.

I seem to have this problem throughout my whole life where there are guys interested in me but I'm not interested in them or vice versa.

Then, as if the timing couldn't be more perfect (that is sarcasm) I got a text message from my ex today. He broke up with me almost 2 months ago and this is the first time he's contacted me since. I decided not to contact him at all after the break up so this is the first contact between us and I'm not sure what to make of it. What does he want from me? What is going on? Is he just bored or what? Should I even bother to reply?

Meanwhile a few weeks back, my ex from Sydney decided to de-Facebook me. Ouch. He didn't even write me anything or explain anything. He was 'gone' just like that. I didn't do anything about it though. I wasn't gonna write and demand an explanation or what not and to be honest it's probably for the best.

Then I wondered why my ex here in France did not de-Facebook me. I admit I was tempted to do it to him but I thought that it would be best to remain 'friends'. If I wanted to I could easily hide my wall, status or photos from him...

I try not to think about guys or relationships too much but things like this just come up all the time that makes me wonder what the hell is going on??? Why does everything have to be so complicated, huh?