mercredi 28 avril 2010

Dazed and confused

As per the movie title, I'm feeling a bit dazed and confused... or maybe that should be sad and annoyed.

I'm waiting and waiting for news on certain aspects of my life and I am just sick of waiting!

As well as that, these things all happened in the last 2 weeks and made me feel sad and annoyed. Then there are other ongoing up-in-the-air matters which are too personal to write about here.

In no particular order:

1. Came back from my very short trip and got a dose of the post-vacation blues.
2. Found out one of my (family) friends from childhood (that I hadn't seen for about 10 years) died a year ago aged only 30. Don't know the exact cause but was in disbelief and shock for a while there. She's buried in the same cemetery as another family friend who died (also before her time) a year ago, so now I have two people to visit there :(
3. My friend got stuck in Asia for one week (after flying there from Australia for just a stop over), unable to make it to Europe because of the whole Iceland disaster. It took over a week to hear his news and I was getting seriously worried!
4. It's getting quite cold here now. Although the days are nice, as soon as the sun sets it becomes cold, and in the early mornings it's even down to single figures (ie 9deg C!).
5. My French class is going to end soon and I'm sad I won't see my teacher and classmates again.
6. I've been applying for some jobs because I'm sick of my current one, and I'm sick of all the rejections.
7. Found out there is something wrong with my car which will might cost a lot to fix.
8. Got a serious case of RSI so I shouldn't even be typing this post. It's debilitating but what can I do? I can't stop using my hands! :(
9. All these people that I thought were my friends... well let's just say you eventually find out who you can count on in bad times.

I just feel so stressed with all the uncertainty in my life at the moment and wished more than anything I could have some good news! I can't help but feel this sense of 'loss' also, like all these good things happen to me but then I 'lose' them. I meet these wonderful people and then I might not ever see them again, I go on a great holiday and then suddenly it's all over... I know this is just a phase I'm going through (probably spurred on by the sudden weather change from the hottest April in 88 years to a normal April temperature)...


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