Stereotypes about Australia

Photo: saqwarrior/flickr

I wanted to do a post on this because I was getting tired of getting asked the same questions over and over again and it became apparent to me that these are some common silly stereotypes about Australia:

1. That the whole country has the same weather everywhere. And that that is sunny, hot weather. Every day. All year round.

2. That it doesn't snow and it never gets cold. (similar to no. 1).

3. That there are billions of sharks in the ocean and if you dare swim in the beach you'll be eaten by one.

4. Everyone is blonde, blue-eyed and tanned.  (geez, are we still stuck in the 1980s or what?)

5. Everyone eats kangaroo meat.

6. That we don't use the metric system.


OK, let me dispel these myths:

1. OMG do you have any idea how BIG Australia is? How could the whole country possibly have the same weather everywhere! We have 4-6 different timezones (depending on the time of year)! As a general rule, because we're in the southern hemisphere, the northern part of the country is hotter than the southern part. The northern part really only has 2 seasons: hot and dry and wet (humid) and dry. Where the largest cities are situated (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth and Adelaide) has the most temperate and comfortable weather (yes they are all along the coast because the inland is a dry hot desert).

2. Yes we do have seasons. They may not be as extreme as some countries in the northern hemisphere but our summers are still hot and our winters are still cold.  I actually think using the temperature as a gauge is somehow misleading because 8° in Sydney feels like 3° here in France. I'm not sure why that is. Maybe because it's more humid in Sydney (and a lot windier). Here's some trivia for you: It can get down to -2°C in Sydney!! It's further out in the suburbs but it still happens in mornings in winter. You can get ice, frost and sometimes even snow. Yes, it happens. And winters in Sydney actually feel colder to me in some ways because our houses are not designed well for cold weather and you never have those fancy pipe water-filled heaters in houses (which are everywhere in France and Europe). So usually when I'm at home or at a friend's house I freeze to death because noone wants to spend money on heating and even if they do, it's extremely inefficient heating that doesn't heat the whole room/house. We also have real snow in the mountains, which are about 8 hours drive from Sydney. And yes you can ski there too! (I went once with my family when I was young).

3. How do I put it to you gently? This is not a myth. IF YOU SWIM IN THE BEACH IN AUSTRALIA YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE!!!  (I'm joking :P ).

The way I have explained this to some people is this: You hear about plane crashes all the time in the news so if you are someone who gets scared easily, you would tend to believe that this is a common occurrence, which couldn't be farther from the truth! It's the same thing for murders and basically anything 'bad'. There is a tiny miniscule % chance of that thing happening but in some people's minds there is a 50% or greater chance of it happening to them!! I have read psychology literature about phobias and OCDs and they are basically the same thing: irrational thoughts. People have a phobia of being eaten by a shark (for example) because in their minds they believe there's an extremely high chance of it happening. The irrational thought plays out in their mind over and over again so they believe it's actually true. The same with plane crashes, or snake bites, or whatever. In all the years I've lived in Australia and gone to the beach I've never even seen a shark, let alone been attacked by one and I have never heard of it happen to anyone I know either. And funnily enough, each summer there are still thousands of people at every beach! Even kids! (rolleyes). You'd be better off worrying about rips as they are a more of a threat than any old shark.

4. Australia is WAY more multicultural than France from what I've seen and experienced so it doesn't surprise me that French people (and many other nationalities too) actually believe this is the case. Blame it on the media where it's true. In tv shows and the news etc you'll only see Caucasians 99.99% of the time. In Sydney and Melbourne you would be hard pressed to see only Caucasian people in any suburb. It wasn't always like this though. I remember my childhood as a different scenario where only a few select suburbs had people of different ethnic origins and if you wanted to buy some special kind of food you had to drive a long distance. Nowadays you can find ethnic supermarkets and fast food/restaurants everywhere. And even normal supermarkets have a huge supply of various ethnic foods. And I LOVE that, and I miss that so much here in France. The only ethnic food I seem to be able to find easily are kebabs. Whenever I find a nice sushi shop I am dying to eat there but then I can't because it's so ridiculously expensive and I want to cry. I can count on my hand the number of times I've eaten Asian food here. That's roughly once a month :(

And no, not everybody is tanned. In fact, Australians suffer from the highest rate of skin cancer in the world and most (Caucasian) Australians have very bad sun-damaged skin from exposing their fair European skin to the strong UV rays of 'down under'. Because of this statistic, the news, the and media, most Australians and highly sun conscious and we sell special clothing and swimwear with high UV protection and a huge range of sunscreen, etc etc. I believe the US is similar but it's definitely something that Europe has to catch up on, as I don't think most of them realise the damaging effects of the sun. Here, it's a bit like Australia 20 or 30 years ago before anyone knew the consequences of too much sun exposure. And I guess Nicole Kidman sort of made it 'cool' to be pale!

5. Yes it's true that some Australians eat it but I personally have never tried it and I don't know of anyone who eats it on a regular basis and I have never ever seen it sold in the supermarkets or butchers (then again I never looked for it!)

6. Most French people know that we drive on the left hand side and if they didn't, and I tell them, they would then say, "Oh like the British"... But I've been asked this bizarre question several times straight after telling someone that... "Do you use the metric system?" It's as if because we drive on the opposite side of the road to the French, we must use a different measuring system. But how does that make sense because the British drive on the left and use the metric system, and the Americans drive on the right (like the French) and DON'T use the metric system?  Does not compute in my head. That is definitely the most bizarre question I've been asked! So, Australia has been using the metric system.. since... oh... sometime in the 70s and we also use A4 paper (unlike the Americans). Whenever I bring that up the French people ask me, "Huh? What do Americans use then?" " 'Letter' paper."Not many people seem to realise there are differences in paper size!

Prior to the current school holidays I did some classes on stereotypes because I wanted to educate my kids about the ways of the world. And then I remind myself that I'm so lucky to have travelled all over the world from a young age to learn about all these little cultural ideas and differences. I find it utterly sad when people say they don't like travelling and don't want to go overseas... and then they wonder why people like me think they are so ignorant about the rest of the world!!

This is not something I get asked often (I think I talked about it on a Skype chat at least once) but I happened to find this on wikipedia.fr:

...depuis la ruée vers l'or des années 1850, la plupart des Australiens sont citadins. L'Australie est aujourd'hui l'un des pays les plus urbanisés du monde. 

"Since the gold rush around the 1850s, the majority of Australians are city dwellers. Today, Australia is one of the most urbanised countries of the world."

I think that's another thing that's hard for people of other countries to understand because in their country (except maybe Canada and Russia ;) ) the inhabitants are evenly spread out everywhere... Australia is just this big mass of emptiness with these few large(ish) urban centres...

Profile of the average gmail user

Hunch: What your email address says about you

Couldn't resist sharing this article I just came across. I admit I DO judge people by their email addresses and the majority of French people I have met have either a hotmail.fr or a yahoo.fr email address. Only very few have a gmail address whereas the majority of people I know in Australia have a gmail address. Some of the less technically apt tend to have hotmail addresses (errr quelle horreur). Whenever someone gives me a hotmail address I come up with 2 conclusions (which may or may not be true):

1. This person probably NEVER checks their email because they live on Facebook/Twitter/myspace etc and they do everything on their phone and not on a real computer.
2. This is not their REAL email address as they don't trust me enough to give that to me. Since it's not their real email address anything I send them won't be seen for another 3 months (yes that has happened so many times...)


What's scary about their 'analysis' of a typical gmail user is that it fits me to a tee except...

Gmail users are most likely to be thin young men ages 18-34 who are college-educated and not religious. Like other young Hunch users, they tend to be politically liberal, single (and ready to mingle), and childless. Gmail users live in cities and have traveled to five or more countries. They’re career-focused and plugged in — they mostly read blogs, have an iPhone and laptop, and listen to music via MP3s and computers (but they don’t have a DVR). At home, they lounge around in a t-shirt and jeans. Gmail users prefer salty snacks and are introverted and entrepreneurial. They are optimistic OR pessimistic, depending on the situation.

The only thing that doesn't fit me is that I am female and that I don't have an iPhone. And I lounge around in longjohns (which I wear UNDER my jeans) and I prefer both salty and sweet snacks.

I've had a gmail address pretty much as soon as they came out. One of my geeky IT friends from university gave me an 'invitation' so I made an account and have since made several more gmail accounts. Prior to that I also had  hotmail, yahoo and excite email addresses but mainly, I just used a normal POP account from one of Australia's biggest internet service providers which allowed me to also access my messages through the web (so there was no need for another webmail account). AOL was never that big in Australia although I do remember they often gave out 'free' CDs for internet accounts and I even signed up at one point... can't remember what happened after...

It wasn't until 2007 when I moved overseas that I finally started to use my gmail account for real and now I can't live without it! I actually have it synced with Apple Mail which is great, meaning I can read all my messages offline as well. It also keeps the folders structure that I've created too. And if you have several gmail accounts you can access them all together in the one place without needing to login/logout all the time!

How to Sync Gmail and Apple Mail : Here are some instructions if you are wondering how to do it.

The scary thing is that I've been using the internet since 1995, well before some of my students were even born!  From talking to my students I get the impression that they hardly ever use email and only really use the internet to: go on Facebook, download mp3s, listen to music (Deezer is a favourite site of the French in general) and watch tv shows/movie (streaming). Oh, and to play games of course!!

Japanese Tsunami and Earthquake 2011

(pic: Kyodo News)

From BBC news:

A massive earthquake has hit the north-east of Japan, triggering a tsunami that has caused extensive damage. Japanese television showed cars, ships and even buildings being swept away by a vast wall of water after the 8.9-magnitude earthquake.

The quake has sparked fires in several areas including Tokyo. At least 32 people were killed, officials said. It struck about 250 miles (400km) from the capital at a depth of 20 miles. There have been powerful aftershocks.

The tremor, measured at 8.9 by the US Geological Survey, hit at 1446 local time (0546 GMT). Seismologists say it is one of the largest earthquakes to hit Japan for many years.

Police and local officials said at least 32 people had been killed in the earthquake and tsunami. It is believed the death toll could rise significantly.

A ship carrying 100 people was swept away, Japanese media reported, quoting police in Miyagi. It is not clear what happened to the ship and its passengers.

In Iwate prefecture, also near the epicentre, an official said it was difficult to gauge the extent of the destruction.

"Roads were badly damaged and cut off as the tsunami washed away debris, cars and many other things," said Hiroshi Sato, a disaster management official in Iwate.

....

Many people in Tokyo said they had never felt such a powerful earthquake.

In central Tokyo, Jeffrey Balanag said he was stuck in his office in the Shiodome Sumitomo building because the elevators had stopped working.

"There's no panic but we're almost seasick from the constant rolling of the building," he told the BBC.

Bullet train services to northern Japan were halted and rapid transit in Tokyo was suspended, stranding many workers in the city centre. Narita airport outside Tokyo was initially closed but later opened for departing flights.

About four million homes in and around Tokyo suffered power outages...

I'm trying to find out more information on how people can help but in meantime, here are some useful links:

Sky News: Lots of information and pictures here

2011 Japan Earthquake info & person finder (powered by Google)

Donate to British Red Cross

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Vocabulary: earthquake - tremblement de terre/séisme
tsunami - tsunami

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Updated: 15 March

A whole bunch of ways you can help/donate

French words that are hard to pronounce

Google Translate

je suis embrouillé débrouillé grenouille
Note that that doesn't make any sense in French but I just typed it into translate.google.com/ to hear what it sounds like. It translated it as: I'm confused unraveled frog which had me in stitches!

The words that are hardest for me to pronounce are those such as:

s'embrouiller (verb - to tangle/confuse)
se débrouiller (verb - to disentangle/sort out; sort of the opposite of above)
une grenouille (noun - frog)
accueillir (verb - to welcome/greet)
un écureuil (noun - squirrel)
un fauteuil (noun - armchair)
cueillir (verb - to collect/pick off a tree)
un chevreuil (noun - deer/venison)

They are also hard to spell!

A silly little sentence/story I just made up using all those words:

Je vais accueillir une grenouille, un écurueil, et un chevreuil chez moi. Tout d'abord, il faut qu'ils cueillent les pommes de l'arbre devant ma fenêtre, et puis qu'ils s'assoient sur le fauteuil, tous les trois, et qu'ils se débrouillent bien si ils s'embrouillent.

Unfortunately the Google Translate voice thing doesn't work for long sentences. Shame! You could do it in parts though. Funny thing is the French still sounds so fast for me, whereas comparatively, the English voice part sounds soooo slow.

The Departments of France

Les Départements de la France

I thought I'd do a somewhat interesting post about French life (because I know my recent posts have just been me rambling about some random nonsense)...

So, the other day, one of my friends (teacher at the school) told me that previously, all French students had to learn and memorise all the departments off by heart. Can you imagine? There are 95 alone on the mainland. You have to know where they are placed in the country and where they are in relation to one another and in which region (marked in navy blue) they are located in. I thought learning the 50 states of the USA was hard (not that I ever had to, I just thought it would be fun in my teenage days to learn/memorise them all as well as their capital cities because that kind of stuff is useful for trivia games ;) )

So, because it was such a tedious task and noone really cared that much about any department apart from their own, they stopped this practice. Now, most French people probably only know a handful or so.

For me, of course I know my own one (duh) and some of the surrounding ones and Paris (75) and that's about it.

What's interesting though, is that it sill plays an important role in peoples' lives. For example, it only occurred to me recently that it's common to:

1) add the number of your department in brackets on your CV when talking about the location of your previous jobs (so the employer knows where this non-descript town is located).
2) add the number of your department at the end of an email addresses or internet pseudonyms/login name.

Every time I saw '74' which is in my region, the Rhône-Alpes région, I assumed it was someone's year of birth! I mean it seemed logical and likely. It's not as if it was 34. For the people I know and people in Australia, it's common to put the year of birth as part of their email address/pseudo (if the name alone is already taken) but now I finally understand what the French do!

The 2-digit department number is also used in the beginning of the 5-digit postcode. For Paris (75) and Lyon (69) (and maybe some other big cities) the name of the arrondissement is also noted in the postcode. Eg 75001 for the 1st arrondissement of Paris and 69001 for the 1st arrondissement of Lyon.

The department number is also inscribed on a car licence plate (plaque minéralogique)

link

And check this out for more fun! ;)

link

I'm sure there are plenty of other uses for the department numbers that I haven't come across yet... It seems to have nothing to do with the phone numbers, though. I guess I'll find out more as time goes on!

More about the départements

Reasons why Couchsurfing is better than a hotel

Who was I kidding? Did I honestly think I could last 2.5 weeks without leaving my town? Impossible! (that's said with a French pronunciation, something like uhm-poss-eee-bluh)...

Well, I had a few criteria to fulfill with choosing the city that I would visit:
* It had to be not too far away (so it doesn't cost too much)
* I had to be able find free accommodation there (via Couchsurfing)
* There had to be an event there where I'd get to meet new people
* It had to somewhere I wanted to find out more about, to see if I'd like living there

I was quite happy that I accomplished all of this. I found a wonderful host through CS. So kind, generous, friendly and helpful. We first stopped by a café where he shouted me to a hot chocolate. Then we spent my first day walking around the town and since he's lived there nearly his whole life, pointed out sights of interest and told me little historical facts or stories about various things...

It's only a small town but he took me to a place that he said he hadn't been to in 3-4 years! It's funny how it works like that. Whenever you live in a place you never really see it all and take it for granted. After our long walk we worked up a big appetite and each had a delicious pizza at an Italian restaurant. It's not often that I go to restaurants so I really savour those rare experiences. And the Italian food in France is really really good!

As luck would have it, the weather has been gorgeous lately. Sure it's still cold in the mornings and evenings but during the day it's sunny as anything and in the low teens. We even saw one of those outdoor digital thermometer things which said 23° but somehow I think it was just a tad optimistic...

Due to my crazy sleep patterns I was feeling extremely tired after our walk around the town so I actually had a big long siesta and then that night we went together to a café not far away to a CS meeting and I met up with 4 other lovely people. It's so nice meeting new people and finding out facts about them. Even though all these people are strangers it's not nerve-wracking at all. I guess being and living alone has given me a lot of skills in networking and the art of making small talk. Not saying I'm the most outgoing or interesting person out there, but I do enjoy talking to random, different, new people.

What's good (for me) about all these meetings that I go to is that everyone there (I assume) is single. I think because of that we already have something in common and... I don't know how to explain it other than to say almost everyone I know is a part of a couple and when I hang out with couples I just feel 'weird' and different. I don't feel like I am 'less' than them but just TOO different, especially since most people I know have also been with their partner for 10+ years and forgotten what it's like to be single and they have no idea how to relate to me either...

Speaking of which... I can't believe I did it! 3 and a bit weeks later I really don't think of 'him' anymore and when I do, I get a bit angry (a good sign) and think that he was a loser anyway. I couldn't believe it. Something just happened during this trip where I stopped thinking about him and those few seconds that I did, I honestly wasn't upset at all.

I am honestly not thinking about having a relationship at all at this moment and definitely NOT looking to start anything. I feel so much happier having a whole bunch of normal friends than one close boyfriend who screws with my head and my emotions. But recently, I have had girl friends confide in me about their relationships and it just saddens me that they don't realise they are dating a jerk and can't get rid of him. I spend my time thinking and talking about relationships a lot. To my single girl friends, to my single male friends, to my coupled-up girl friends, to 'strangers'... although I'm not looking and actually quite happy to be single right now the topic still stays in my head.

Another good thing about this meeting was that everyone there was bilingual or even trilingual. Yay! Everyone spoke French and I could actually understand everything. Trust me, when I first arrived this was extremely hard to do... with multiple people talking simultaneously, noisy background, music playing etc... I always find it hard to understand people when there is background noise which is why I'm still not great with telephone conversations... But anyhoo, it's just great to spend time with like-minded people.

Well back to CS, I honestly didn't think I could top my amazing experience last time. But this time came pretty close. Since this guy travels a lot for work, his apartment is empty a lot of the time and he said I could come and use it during those times when he's not there, if I wanted to, and invited me back again and we could check out more sights during the warmer weather... maybe with the car next time 'round!


A handful of reasons why Couchsurfing is a million times better than a hotel:

1. It's free!
2. You get to meet a local.
3. You get to see how a local really lives, in a real apartment/house on a real street, not necessarily in a street full of hotels. I've been lucky many times though and gotten an apartment right in the heart of the city (like this time). Often, the apartment you get is even BETTER located than a hotel. Since most places aren't accompanied with photos though, it's always a lucky dip and kind of fun to see what kind of place you end up in.
4. The place you'll stay in will be a million times bigger than your tiny hotel room, no matter how small it is.
5. The place you'll stay in will have a fully equipped kitchen (if you feel like cooking).
6. The person who hosts you is interested in you, your culture, your job, your town, your country, etc,  and actually wants to talk to you. The staff at hotel reception couldn't give two hoots about you.
7. If you're lucky and if they have time, they'll even give you a free guided tour of their town.
8. You get a fuzzy feel-good feeling inside knowing that there are truly some nice, generous and wonderful people in this world.
9. If you're super lucky, you'll have a friend for life.

Well today I walked around the town some more by myself. I was absolutely sweating like crazy wearing my big down coat in the bright sunshine that I had to carry it the whole time. I'm absolutely exhausted and off to bed for an early night!

Yemma - Sheryfa Luna

Yemma - Sheryfa Luna

Yemma je me souviens des années
Où je partais en guerre quand tu prônais la paix
Aujourd'hui je comprends tes silences
Quand ton coeur se serrait et s'armait de patience
Tant de mains, des vies qui s'aprennent
A mon tour je tends les miennes
 
[Refrain]
 
Et je lis sur tous les visages
L'amour qu'une mère a donné
Si tous les visages de l'enfant que j'ai porté
Les bonheurs et les peines
La couleur de ceux qu'on aime
Sur tous les visages
Yemma désormais je sais ma chance
Les nuits où tu veillais sur mon innocence
Quand je plonge mes yeux dans ton regard
Je suis le chemin qui rejoint notre histoire
Lentement je le vois grandir
Mon soleil dans son sourire
 
[Refrain]
 
Yemma
Yemma
 
[Refrain]
 
Yemma
Yemma
Yemma, yemma, yemma, yemma, yemma, yemma
Et je lis sur tous les visages
Et je lis sur tous vos visages


Yemma I remember the years
Where I went to war when you're promoting peace
Now I understand your silence
When your heart is tightened and armed with patience
So many hands, lives which learn
When it's my turn I take mine

[Chorus]

And I read on every face
The love a mother gave
If all the faces of the child I carried
Joys and sorrows
The color of those we love
On all faces
Yemma now I know my luck
The nights you watched over my innocence
When I plunge my eyes in your eyes
I am the road that joins our story
I see it grow slowly
My sunshine in her smile

[Chorus]

Yemma
Yemma

 [Chorus]

Yemma
Yemma
Yemma, Yemma, Yemma, Yemma, Yemma, Yemma
And I read on all the faces
And I read all your faces

Les Fatals Picards - La Sécurité de l'emploi

One of my internet chat buddies pointed this song out to me. Perfect for a teacher. The lyrics are hilarious!


Les Fatals Picards - La Sécurité de l'emploi

Ils sont marrants cette année
C'est difficile de deviner dès la rentrée
Lequel se fera arrêter
Pour les scoots qu'il aura piqués
Lequel sera incarcéré
Pour avoir trop dealé

Moi en bon prof je suis préparé
Un peu de math et de français
Du kickboxing, du karaté
Tant pis pour la géographie
Ce qu'ils connaissent de l'Italie
C'est juste vaguement les spaghettis
Et Rocco Siffredi

Au programme de cette année
En français faudrait arriver
A lire tout un livre en entier
Mais même Dan Brown et Marc Lévy
Il y a plus de cent mots de vocabulaire
On en sera toujours à lire
La préface même après l'hiver.

Et mon voisin en me voyant
Me dira : "Bande de fainéants !
Alors vous êtes déjà rentrés
Vous savez pas ce que c'est que de bosser !
Avec vos semaines de vingt heures,
Vous bossez bien moins qu'un facteur,
Dire que je paye pour vos congés
Et pis vous n'êtes même pas bronzé !"
Cent copies à corriger
Deux trois prozacs, huit cafés,
Mais je l'entends quand même dire d'en bas :
"Je compte même pas La sécurité de l'emploi !"

Celui aux lunettes, c'est mon surdoué,
Il sait écrire son nom sans fautes, il sait compter - Waw !
Bah, c'est pas mal pour un 3ème, il faut savoir s'en contenter
C'est clair qu'un intello pareil, il va se faire racketter

Trente-cinq élèves, cette année je leur ai demandé
Ce qu'ils voulaient faire comme métier
J'ai dix Zidane, quinze Amel Bent, et neuf Bouba,
Un original qui veut faire vigile et avocat
Il a dû voir chez Courbet
Que c'était pas mal d'être avocat
Si jamais t'allais en prison
Ils croient qu'ils auront leur brevet
En regardant l'île de la tentation,
Merci pour tout ce que fait pour eux la télévision.

Et mon voisin, le même qu'hier,
Me dira : "Bande de fonctionnaires,
Alors vous êtes déjà rentrés ?
Vous savez pas ce que c'est de bosser !
Avec vos semaines de vingt heures
Vous bossez moins qu'un contrôleur,
Et dire que je paye pour mon gamin,
Il a redoublé son CE1 !

Vite les bulletins à remplir
Deux trois prozacs, et huit kirs
Mais je l’entends quand même dire d’en bas :
"Je compte même pas
La sécurité de l'emploi !"

Les directives du ministère
Nous imposent d'faire
Des réunions plus régulières
On en fait même pour planifier
Les prochaines réunions
Ou pour décider de ce qu'on peut donner
Sans risque comme sanctions

Fini les notes, de temps en temps,
Faut juste leur envoyer des SMS d'encouragement
L'évaluation c'est pas toi qui la fais,
Eux y t'disent si t'es cool
Je préfère quand même qu'ils me donnent des notes
Plutôt que des coups d'boule

Impossible de les faire redoubler,
Les pauvres chéris il faut surtout pas les perturber
Les programmes faut les simplifier,
Il y a trop de leçons ça les assomme
Ils ont même proposé de donner le bac
Avec la prochaine Playstation.

Et mon voisin vous le connaissez
Me dira : "Bande de surpayés
Vous foutez rien de la journée
Vous devez pas être fatigués !
Avec vos semaines de vingt heures
Vous bossez bien moins qu'un chômeur,
Et pis pas de chef et pas de rendement
C'est pas pour ce que vous faites vraiment !"

Les parents à rencontrer
Deux ou trois prozacs, huit Grand Marnier
Et vu leur investissement
L'année prochaine ira pas en s'arrangeant
Faudra peut-être songer à les adopter
Venir les lever le matin, le soir les coucher
Et p't-être dormir à leur place
Pour qu'ils restent éveillés en classe.

La prof de gym n'est pas venue
S'est faite agressée dans la rue
Mais bon, ils l'avaient avertie
Ils veulent pas de sport avant midi
Ils peuvent d'jà pas fumer en classe
Et ça déjà c'est dégueulasse
Entre chaque cours une bière et un joint
C'est quand même pas des gros besoins

Cette fois-ci c'est décidé
Mes gosses iront dans le privé
J'ai beau regarder à deux fois
Je la vois pas tant que ça
La sécurité de l'emploi.


Half Google translate job/half my own corrections:
(apologies it's doesn't entirely make sense in English but I'm sure you get the drift)

They are funny this year
It's hard to guess from the start of back to school
Which will stop
For the scooters that they will have stolen
Which will be incarcerated
To have too deal

Me as a good teacher I am prepared
A little math and French
Kickboxing, karate
So much for geography
What they know about Italy
It's just vaguely spaghetti
And Rocco Siffredi

At this year's program
In French we would need
To read a whole book
But even Dan Brown and Marc Levy
There are over a hundred words of vocabulary
We will always read
The preface even after winter.

And my neighbor, on seeing me
I say: "Group of lazy asses!
So you're already gone
You don't know what it's like to work!
With your week of twenty hours,
You work much less than a postman,
To say that I pay for your holiday
And then you're not even tanned! "
One hundred copies to correct
Prozac two or three, eight coffees,
But still I hear tell from below:
"I do not even count on Job security! "

The one with the glasses is my gifted
He can write his name without faults, he can count - Wow!
Well, that's not bad for a 9th grader, we must be content to know
It is clear that he's such a nerd, he'll be extorting money

Thirty-five students, this year I asked them
What they wanted to do for a living
Zidane I have ten, fifteen Amel Bent, and nine Bouba
An eccentric who wants to guard and judge
He had to see in Courbet
That it was not bad to be a lawyer
If ever you were going to jail
They believe they have their school certificate
Looking at the island of temptation
Thank you for everything done for them on television.

And my neighbor, the same as yesterday,
I say: "Group of officials,
So you're already gone?
You know what it is to work!
With your twenty-hour week
You work less than a ticket inspector,
And say that I pay for my kid
He repeated 2nd grade!

Quickly to fill the ballot
Prozac two or three and eight kirs
But still I hear them say from below:
"I do not even count on Job security! "

Ministry guidelines
Require us to make
More regular meetings
We actually even plann
The next meetings
Or to decide what you can give
Safely as sanctions

Finish notes from time to time
You just send them text messages of encouragement
The assessment is not you who do,
They tell you if you are cool
I still prefer them to give me notes
Rather than kick-ball

Impossible to make them repeat,
The poor dears, last but not disturb
The programs must be simplified,
There are too many lessons that are boring
They even proposed to give the bac
With the next Playstation.

And you know my neighbor
I say: "Group of overpaid people
You doing nothing all day
You must be tired!
With your twenty-hour week
You work a lot less than the unemployed
And then no leader and no return
It's not what you do really!"

Parents to meet
Two or three prozac, eight Grand Marnier
And given their investment
Next year will not be arranging
May need to consider the adoption
Coming up in the morning and the evening sunset
And perhaps be sleeping in their place
To stay awake in class.

The gym teacher did not come
He had been attacked in the street
But hey, they had warned
They do not want sports by noon
They already can't smoke in the classroom
And it already is disgusting
Between each course a beer and a joint
It is not even important needs

This time it was decided
My kids will go into a private school
I just think twice
I see that much
Job security.