Week from Hell

I thought last week was bad and I thought it was all over when I had a nice Sunday and Monday.. then the hell started again (different person, different situation) and once again my emotions were put through the wringer. I am very slowly losing faith in humanity. There are too many horrible people in this world, which saddens me. Perhaps I am just too 'nice' and trusting, I don't know. I'm sick of feeling like shit and being treated like shit.

Someone who I thought was unbelievably nice turns out to be a chameleon. I'm so disillusioned it's not funny. I feel hurt and betrayed and more... words fail me. And to think that because they were a relative of a friend of a friend they were actually trustworthy...

I never thought my experience in France would lead to this. Without sounding conceited, I think my life would make one hell of an interesting autobiography with the amount of shit I've experienced and endured, with the amounts of highs and lows I had (even in the same day or week).

I was up from 2-4am this morning unable to sleep. I wrote an email to my sister get all my feelings out which she probably won't even reply to knowing her. I also finally told someone, as in a real person (the other assistant) and not someone on the internet. I couldn't hide my 'secret' any longer as it was doing my head in. And now, being alone and extremely sad and disillusioned by humanity, one of my other friends is coming over to talk and to comfort me (thank God).

I think I mentioned before that I absolutely hate Friday afternoons/evenings. I feel like I'm the only person left in the whole entire school (which I'm practically am). I'm bored out of my brains and I am fed up with 'me time'. It's good when the other assistant is here and we can do stuff together (like going to see a film one time) but when she's not here... and especially now in my fragile state... gosh, it sux. It really really sux.

Lovely French Soirée - un truc de fou

I had the best time last night, at my third French soirée (an informal dinner party at someone's house). All my favourite people (that I know in this town) were there and none of the people I don't like were there. The best thing was when one of the guests (who I had not seen since I first arrived in early October- almost 4 months ago) said that my French had really improved! I was beaming :D

I distinctly remember at this party I went to almost a year ago (!!) in Sydney...  My French friend in Sydney (whom I met through CouchSurfing) brought along HER friend from France who was holidaying in Australia. Her poor friend.. the whole time I was there I could tell it was awkward for her as there were so many people all talking very very fast. It would have been so hard for her to understand anything... and I remember thinking to myself, that's EXACTLY what it's gonna be like for me when I get to France.. I'm gonna be sitting around at this party with no clue about what the people are talking about because they are speaking so quickly and there are going to be multiple people talking simultaneously !!

That WAS what it was like the first time I went to a soirée (there were also too many people - about 20). Then the second time it was nice and intimate with only 5 people (including myself) so it was easier. This time there were 9 people (including myself). I am proud to say I really held my own. I understand everything we were talking about (mostly about the other people at the school - the other teachers, surveillants, and students) and random happenings... mostly stupid/funny stuff.

I heard the expression "c'est un truc de fou" many times that night! I got told it means "that's too much, that's crazy stuff/shit..." etc.  It's just a random filler phrase. The other day I was talking to someone online and I learnt the expression, "rien à voir" which I thought logically meant "nothing to see" but it actually means "nothing in common" and I heard that being used a lot as well.

I had such a nice time last night, eating, talking and laughing that I felt this tinge of sadness at the back of my head that one day I'm gonna have to say goodbye to all these lovely people who I now consider my friends :(

I couldn't sleep much last night because I was so hyped up. It's times like that I feel like I was drunk (because I was so relaxed and happy) even though I don't drink!!

Je me suis bien amusée hier soir, pendant ma troisième soirée française. Tous mes meilleurs amis (de cette ville) étaient là et les autres personnes que j'aime pas trop n'étaient pas là. Le moment qui m'a rendu le plus heureuse était quand une de ces amis (que je n'ai pas vu depuis 4 mois) m'a dit qu'elle pense que je parle beaucoup mieux le français, et que j'ai amélioré ! Yay! J'ai fait un grand sourire.

Je me souviens quand je suis allée à une fête (de mon amie) à Sydney... Mon amie française (que j'ai rencontré grace à Couchsurfing) à emmené son amie (de France) qui était en vacances en Australie. La pauvre ! Le temps entier que j'étais là, je me suis sentie qu'elle a du mal à comprendre, avec tous ces amis qui parlent en même temps. Ça a du être difficle à comprendre pour elle. Je me suis rendue compte que çe sera exactement comme ça quand je serai en France. Je serai à une fête et je ne comprenderai rien. Il y aura trop de gens qui parlent en même temps !

C'était exactement comme ça pendant la première fois que je suis allée à une soirée. Il y avait trop de gens (environ 20). Pendant la deuxième fois c'était sympa et intime. Il n'y avait que 5 gens (moi compris).

Crazy week II

Nothing much to say but this is undoubtedly one of the craziest weeks of my entire life and definitely the craziest so far this year.  I think I have experienced every emotion under the sun this week. It's definitely ended on a high note though. I went for a drive with a friend and saw some beautiful landscapes. We were going to go for a walk around the lake but it was too cold (-3°) so we just stayed in the car, drove around and talked.. sounds pretty basic but after a somewhat stressful week (to put it lightly) it was just what I needed...