When friends become parents

Continuing on from my previous post... A lot of change happens in 2 years. I can't believe it had been 2 years already since I last saw my friend and 1.5 years since I was last in Paris.

I was surprised when my friend told he had gotten married a few months back. Then I joked that the next time we meet he will have kids and he said, "I don't think so..."

Somehow, I believe he will though. If I leave it another 2 years I'm quite certain he will have at least one kid... Afterall, France has a very high birth rate.

And it got me thinking...

All these French people I met on language exchange sites... It was a coincidence that ALL of them were couples, none of them were singles. And when I arrived in France I visited them all around the country and it was very generous and kind of them to allow me to stay with them and show me around their home town.

And then, one year or so later, they all had kids. I would like to revisit them but I can't. It may sound selfish but I feel stressed around babies and young kids and they wouldn't be able to 'hang out' anyway as their whole schedule and life is now around their kids.

I think back to my friends at home, and I think to bloggers I read (and feel I 'know' because I've been reading their blog for many many years)... Their lives and blogs used to be so interesting and now it just revolves around their kids. Nothing wrong with that and it's completely normal but at the same time it saddens me as I always feel I've 'lost' my friends that way. We no longer have anything in common, we no longer have anything to talk about and they don't do much with their own lives because their life IS their kids' life (as evidenced by those who even put their child's photo as their own profile photo which I kind of find a little disturbing).

There are so many female bloggers I read and their blogs used to be so interesting but after having kids, now every single post is the same... there is nothing new or interesting.

And as much as I try to stay friends with these people I just can't. I've experienced it back home and here. People generally don't bother to stay in contact with you if you aren't going through the same things in life (except by superficial methods like Facebook posts). I go to their kid's birthday parties... and I'll start a conversation with a stranger who'll ask me about my kids.. I'll tell them I don't have any.. and then they're thinking, "Oh shit... what can we talk about then?" and all the while I wonder why I am even there and can't wait to leave...

I shouldn't complain about this I know and I know people will tell me I can still continue to be friends with these people but I really don't feel I can :(

As I write this post... last night I actually had a dream that I was pregnant and gave birth but instead of having the baby the normal way, it came out of my left side! (where my waist is) and I 'only' had a 10cm scar and was walking around normally straight afterwards. The baby was completely normal, healthy and happy... so it was a nice dream.

Apparently

Babies in dreams are common, because every creation begins with an idea. Many people are invested in learning how to create in their lives, whether it's a new job, a greater relationship, or creating the type of person they desire to become. Next time when you have a baby in your dreams, celebrate the opportunity to learn more about yourself and creativity.

and

To see a baby in your dream signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted. If you dream that the baby is smiling at you, then it suggests that you are experiencing pure joy. You do not ask for much to make you happy.

(image from here).