samedi 16 avril 2011

So why are you single?

It still amazes me how many comments and questions I get relating to my relationship status. I've been asked:

1• Did I come here because of a man?
2• Did I come here because of a relationship breakup back home?
3• Do I want to stay and marry a guy (and therefore can stay longer)?
4• Did I get a boyfriend recently?
5• WHY am I single?
6• Why do I travel alone everywhere?

Then, I've been propositioned and hinted by various men that they are interested in me (and I am NOT interested in them)! etc etc..

Gosh, it's so bizarre.

I'm not overly offended (and sometimes even find the comments funny) but at the same time I think my private life is MY business and if I wish to share those details I will. (on my blog here :P ) I am also surprised by the number of times someone has told me I should marry a French guy if I want to stay longer.

For the record, it actually isn't that simple and as far as I'm aware, isn't that simple for ANY desirable Western country. You don't just marry someone and automatically end up a French (or English or German or Australian or American whatever) citizen! There are many criteria to fulfill and you have had to live legally in the country for x number of years and proven your relationship is genuine.

And to answer the questions above:

1• Definitely not. I came here for ME. What a concept, eh?! (sarcasm). Actually, my father did not want me to come and he suspected someone had put me up to it as well. He asked, "WHO told you to come to France?" and I was very shocked by this statement but he's obviously over it now, well he had to get used to the idea as I wasn't changing my mind about coming!

2• Not at all. At the time I was in a (newish) happy relationship (which ended because the long-distance thing wasn't working for us).

3• If I end up marrying a guy it would be for love and honestly, I don't think I will get married for quite some time!

4• I did get a boyfriend here in January and it sort of happened really quickly before I realised what was happening and we didn't last very long but I think/hope/assume we are friends now (well I'm seeing him today for the first time after the break-up so I'll see how it goes).
So recently? Definitely not! I'm pre-occupied trying to sort out "the issue" which is completely doing my head in with all this waiting...

5• What a stupid question! Although I suppose I should be flattered because if someone asks that I assume it means they think that someone "like me" should NOT be single (as if that's a bad thing). To be honest (and as I've mentioned on this blog numerous times) I really enjoy my 'me time' and 'quiet time' and silence and meditation and all that. I think I'm quite independent now and whilst on one hand I'd love to be in a relationship, on the other hand I always feel like my emotions are in knots (particularly at the first few months of a relationship) and I don't feel quite right, and I'm quite strong-minded so I like to do what I want when I want and how I want... in a relationship I have to learn to compromise all over again... it's difficult but for the moment I'm quite happy where I am and do not feel any overwhelming need to be tied to/with someone. I do, however, feel like I need to make as many (platonic) friends as possible so I can have a nice social life to keep me occupied :)

6• It's just easier that way! When I ask someone if they want to go with me they usually stuff me around and don't give me definite answers. It's a billion times easier just to make some plans and go! Plus since I like to take photos, 99% of people (unless they are also really into photography) get extremely impatient and then I feel stressed and don't enjoy my time there OR take good photos... However, I do enjoy company for the day once I'm in that city. But to organise dates/transport/accommodation with others just feels like too much work these days.

Meanwhile, on the subject of taboo topics, I've heard time and time again that French people don't like to talk about money yet amongst most people I know they seem to talk about salary somewhat easily. People seem to ask and tell each other their salaries... I don't know if it's just the group of people I hang around or what! But as an Australian, I feel extremely uncomfortable talking about what I earn unless that person is very close to me. I have no idea what my friends earn back home (although I could make an educated guess based on their fields of work and years of experience). Since I heard that French people don't talk about money full stop I thought it might also be weird to ask how much they spend on certain things but I've asked various people how much they spend per month on rent (I like to compare between each city for reference's sakes) and they didn't seem offended.


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