vendredi 11 février 2011

Crap crap crap

This is the shittiest Friday ever. Something sad and horrible happened to me. AGAIN it seems. With my so-called friend K. But only this time it's different. And it's worse. Fucking great start to the weekend. I'd planned a nice trip away but now I won't even get to enjoy myself now. Great.

My hands are still shaking in shock of the news. I guess if I was really honest with myself I would have or could have seen it coming but that doesn't take away from the fact that I'm just utterly distraught at the moment with NO ONE at all to talk to. I can't track down any of my friends at the moment as it's Fri night... :(

What the heck is wrong with me?

and it still hasn't snowed...


3 hours later after it happened.. I am going out of my mind because I can't get in touch with my friends M and C. ARGH. I contacted Y and he's obviously busy as I got a short abrupt reply and then nothing. I also contacted my other friend A (who I haven't talked about before and who is good friends with Y) and he came back with a heartfelt reply said he's not in town right now, but can help cheer me up next week when we see each other again.... and to just forget about K...  OH wait.. M just replied. What is it with French people and not calling on the phone? OMG.. It seems that NOONE ever wants to talk on the phone. I think it's because it costs so much (compared to sending SMSs).

I feel so shit I haven't eaten for over 9 hours and strangely don't even feel hunger, just this empty pit in my stomach.

Why are my emotions all over the place? I had a wonderful Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.. I had a wonderful WEEK and Friday was not too bad either and then Friday night (tonight). BAM. Can't I just have a continuous run of 'good days'? Is that so much to ask for? I don't even need them to be spectacular, just not filled with heartwrenchingly bad, sad and ugly emotions...


6 hours later. Wow. I actually feel a lot lot better after 'talking' to some people about it. It was good to get it all out and hear their perspectives, particularly those who've 'been there and done that'. However my stomach is still hurting from having eaten nothing. Even though I ate it still hurts. :(

Tomorrow will be a new and good day!!


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